Freedom of BLUGH

gabedelahaye: Everything that has ever happened in your life,...

Fri, 18 Jan 2013 10:50:43 -0500

Everything that has ever happened in your life, the entire chain of decisions and events, has all conspired to bring you to this moment, right here, right now, watching this video. This is what it has all been for. (Via.)

this couldnt be more important

Tue, 14 Aug 2012 14:53:25 -0400

this couldnt be more important

Photo

Mon, 09 Jul 2012 17:25:18 -0400

PASSWORD Characters: Gary, Dana Lights Up. GARY is at the computer. DANA is offstage, in the...

Wed, 04 Jan 2012 15:15:16 -0500

PASSWORD

Characters: Gary, Dana

Lights Up. GARY is at the computer. DANA is offstage, in the kitchen. You can hear the water running.

GARY

(calling out) Hey hon, what’s your password?

DANA

(enters) Why?

GARY

Cause I want to watch something on your Netflix.

DANA

Let me just type it in!

GARY

Come on, youre wearing wet gloves. Just tell me your password. We’ve been dating for 2 years, don’t you trust me?

DANA

(Hangs her head) Okay, but don’t laugh. It’s F-R-I-T-O-S.

GARY

Fritos? Like the cornchips?

DANA

I guess, yeah. (GARY types it in, laughing) You promised me you wouldn’t laugh!

GARY

I know, but it’s cute! Do you even like Fritos?

DANA

Well yeah. I guess.

GARY

But I’ve never even seen you eat them.

DANA

(mutters) That’s what you think.

GARY

When?

DANA

Remember that fried chicken I made you last week?

GARY

Oh my god, it was the best. And it had that nice crust that you get on everything you make….Wait a second. Youre not telling me. Your secret ingredient?

DANA

Its Fritos. Its always Fritos.

GARY

No way! Weird. That crust is good, though! Man, I’m always learning something new about you. (He grabs her hand, pulls away, wipes his hand on his jeans) Wait. What is that?

DANA

Nothing! (she turns away)

GARY

No, that’s not nothing. There are crumbs here. You were eating Fritos just now.

DANA

What! No, I wasn’t.

GARY

You were in there eating Fritos!

DANA

Sometimes when I’m doing the dishes I like to have a snack.

GARY

Do you even have Fritos in the house? (runs to the kitchen, calls out). Oh my god! Every cabinet has a bag of Fritos!

DANA

Costco was having a sale!

GARY

Baby, that is too many Fritos. Goddamn, I didn’t even know you liked them! (Pause. He reenters the room) Wait. Do you use them for more than just breading?

DANA

What do you mean?

GARY

Well, like the other night, you kept calling it “Fettuncini Al Fritos”

DANA

Yeah, so what? I sprinkled some Frito dust on it, that’s all! Sue me.

GARY

That’s all? It’s freaking me out a little! Why would someone put Fritos dust on pasta? You make it sound like you have to put Fritos in every single thing!

DANA

That is so stupid, Gary. Fritos are just my favorite snack! Am I not allowed to have a favorite snack?

GARY

I guess. But, I mean, aren’t Fritos bad for you? Like how come your skin and hair aren’t super unhealthy?

DANA

Oh. Well. They kind of are, actually. This is a wig.

GARY

What?!

GARY goes to her, touches her hair. A scoop-shaped strand comes out. GARY sniffs it and then, to confirm, eats it. He is horrified.

GARY

You have Fritos hair?!!

DANA

Yeah, and my bronzer and lipstick are Fritos based. Barbecue flavor.

GARY

I can’t handle this. I gotta sit down. (goes to sit on a nearby chair)

DANA

Gary, don’t!

GARY sits in the chair which immeadiately crumbles, revealing itself to be made entirely of Fritos. DANA runs to him, helps him up.

DANA

I’m so sorry, Gary! I should’ve told you about that. I know what you’re thinking but-

GARY

(pulling himself up, in a rage) A FRITOS CHAIR?! Honestly, Dana, I don’t know what to think anymore! I was supposed to MOVE IN HERE, for Chrissakes! Is everything in this house made out of Fritos? (picks an urn off the mantle, aiming it at her head)

DANA

Gary, don’t! Those are my father’s ashes in there!

GARY

(pause) So this isn’t made of Fritos?

DANA

No, it’s made out of Fritos. (GARY screams in rage, smashes the urn to bits) Come on, Gary! What’s wrong with Fritos?! They’re delicious!

GARY

It’s not really about the Fritos! It’s the lie! Why wouldn’t you tell me you have this SICK OBSESSION! We’re supposed to trust each other! I feel like I don’t even know you. (grabs his coat, heads for the door)

DANA

Baby, don’t go! I can explain!

GARY

Oh, explain your FRITOS addiction? Sure! OK, I’m all ears.

DANA

Okay, just calm down and listen! It’s all just cause I had this experience in my childhood.

GARY

Well, tell me what happened!

DANA

You know my Dad died before I was born right? Well my mom was single for a long time. She couldn’t hold down a job. We didn’t have much. Sometimes I’d go to school without lunch, and all the kids would laugh at me. The taunts starting getting vicious. I’d come home to see someone had spray panted the word POOR on my door, things like that. One day it got out of hand. Some psycho actually burned my house down. I got out alive, but my mom and brother weren’t so lucky. As I stood there from the curb, watching my family burn to death, I remember thinking ‘God, I could really go for some Fritos.’

Pause. Gary and Dana stare into each other’s eyes,

GARY

Oh my god. Dana.

DANA

Hold me?

GARY taker her into his arms. He looks down at her face, and after a moment, gives her a sincere, loving kiss.

GARY

(Pulls back) Nope. Sorry. Your breath totally smells like chili. I gotta go.

END

Thats where I wrote this post

Sat, 05 Nov 2011 08:32:00 -0400

Since you moved in, my apartment always smells like turmeric. You got us an internet account so now I can get wifi in the bathroom, which is surprisingly important.

have not stopped watching this for 4 months

Tue, 30 Aug 2011 13:23:14 -0400

have not stopped watching this for 4 months

Photo

Thu, 28 Jul 2011 20:38:55 -0400

I’m not mature enough to hear the word “FINGER”. Ever.

Thu, 28 Jul 2011 20:02:23 -0400

I’m not mature enough to hear the word “FINGER”. Ever.

Video

Tue, 26 Jul 2011 15:25:11 -0400

wholesomewear.com these are bathing suits.

Tue, 19 Jul 2011 21:14:04 -0400

wholesomewear.com these are bathing suits.

awesomepeoplereading: Lady Caroline Blackwood and Lucien Freud...

Fri, 24 Jun 2011 20:04:56 -0400

awesomepeoplereading:

Lady Caroline Blackwood and Lucien Freud read.

bummed out at the slumber party

Sat, 18 Jun 2011 00:37:21 -0400

bummed out at the slumber party

Wanna watch a movie? Sure. I got There Will Be Blood from the Red Box I got Tales from the...

Fri, 17 Jun 2011 10:43:20 -0400

Wanna watch a movie?

Sure.

I got There Will Be Blood from the Red Box

I got Tales from the Crip on Blu Ray

But

….

OK!

"It’s this crazy scene where two really turned-on cats try to live in a world where some square..."

Thu, 02 Jun 2011 16:56:00 -0400

““It’s this crazy scene where two really turned-on cats try to live in a world where some square cannibals wig out””

- - Jack Kerouac, On The Road

perfect for russian dolphins

Sat, 28 May 2011 18:47:00 -0400

perfect for russian dolphins

(approving of your choices)

Fri, 27 May 2011 22:28:00 -0400

(approving of your choices)

Wallace Shawn

Thu, 26 May 2011 12:06:23 -0400

Today, Wallace Shawn woke up and stared at the ceiling for a full hour. His weight felt heavy. He couldn’t be bothered to untangle the sheet from his legs. He let his cats lick his fingers and his patch of hair until he found the strength to roll up.

He chose a yellowed shirt and stretched it over his body. He poured Diet Rite from a 2 liter bottle into the same mug he had used yesterday. He stared into his toothpaste stained bathroom mirror and tried to smile.

Maybe, he thought. Maybe he’d make it to the cafe today. Maybe he’d get some writing done. Maybe he’d get a whole play written today. Maybe he’d finish early and eat a cheeseburger. Maybe he’d call his son.

The doorbell rang. Surprised, Wallace Shawn swished some Listerine and slapped some water under his armpits. His heart was full of hope as he toddled to the front door.

It was a UPS delivery man, all in brown with sunglasses. He was chewing gum. “Delivery for Mr. Wallace Shawn?” he asked, reading the name from the box.

“That’s me.” said Wallace Shawn, trying, but failing, to articulate the s

“No fucking way, dude” laughed the delivery man. “You’re that guy! Right?! InconTHeivable, right? The guy from that movie!” His teeth were showing.

“Yeah, that’s me.” Wallace Shawn nodded, pulling his face into a tight smile. He took the package and thanked the delivery man. He closed the door. He went back to bed.

this guy has been reading my diary for sure

Fri, 13 May 2011 12:08:00 -0400

this guy has been reading my diary for sure

proud mary

Thu, 17 Feb 2011 23:22:22 -0500

proud mary

Photo

Thu, 17 Feb 2011 12:20:34 -0500